(The following information reflect the opinions of Stilldigging.com
and the characters are fictional)
Written: December 19th 2022
This story is absolute fiction
December 17th, 2022,
Location, Providence, New England
General Icebreaker rests casually
into his rocking chair,
with his naked feet to the fire,
as his blazing fireplace crackles and glows
and radiates a soothing heat,
while troop commander Icepick
gazes at the falling snow (as if in a trance),
thru a gigantic Anderson picture window,
framing a snapshot of the countryside below,
arrayed with endless rows of Jack Pine trees,
covered in white, as if the almighty
gave a personal touch to the Christmas season.
General Icebreaker 'ohhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhhh'
General Icebreaker suddenly calls out to his kid
Hey bart, go get daddy anoda beer'
Bart "dats enuff for you mister
General Icebreaker 'Thats an order!
Bart 'yes sir!
General Icebreaker 'stand at attention when you say that
Bart 'yes sir! Mister
General Icebreaker 'Hey Millie, show Bart how its done,
plus the salute
Millie 'no'
General Icebreaker 'did you just refuse yor commanding officer!
Gimme 50 now!
Susan 'She's only 2, dear'
General Icebreaker Hey Icepick, you still there
IcepickThe snow reminds me of that training exercise
in the Himalayas 10 years ago,
where we all got lost in an avalanche,
and forced to use a snorkel to survive 10 days.
General Icebreaker I hear ya, I'm a thawing my feet as we speak.
Troop commander Jenkins I heard Psycho nut
was subjecting Tony to the winter freeze,
apparently for joking about Trump and Musk.
Skater "if they in the news, then they fair game
for Tonys comedy.
Boss Heee heee dere cood be anoda weason
Snowball What exactly they doin?
Skater Back in November and erly December, they did it twice.
Exposed the guys body to near freezing temps (as he slept).
Both times he awoke shivering like a hypothermic.
Snowball Tonys a thermal maniac.
When he sleeps out in the cold,
he's like a hybernating Grizzley.
He knows exactly how many layers to use, to beat the cold.
Boss So whacha poin?
Snowball looks at the boss a few seconds, then Skater says
Well obviously they breach his clothing, while he sleeps.
Snowball Which makes it a felony
The Boss explodes in lafter
Jacket 'Just 2 days ago he was jumpin around,
doin his KD (karate dance), so he must be ok.
Skater without the Christmas music
Jacket again? Thats 2 years in a row
Boss Heee heee what
Snowplow Its a traditional celebration of Christmas,
Snowball Jumpin around like an idiot
Snowplow To Christmas music.
Thats all the guy has. He's bin doin this for years.
He has like 15 CD's fulla Steamroller music,
Trans Siberian, you name it.
He uses religious christmas music as his entrance.
Its actually quite a show, after all these years.
Jacket They took that away? what a buncha jerks
Boss Heee heee how
Snowplow They have all his 5 CD players rigged or sabotaged.
Two CD players (only one year old) were sabotaged.
The other 3 CD players are bran new.
starting back on December 7th (12.7), Pearl Harbor Day.
Drake 1.27 is the day Auschwitz was liberated,
and he's always talking about an Auschwitz moment,
after the SS tortures him.
General Icebreaker
So let see if I got dis rite.
The SS makes the guy homeless, to keep his mouth shut.
He loses most of his posessions (90%),
he loses a house, a condo, a mercedez, a corvette,
a brand new SUV.
They wont let im get subsidized housing,
even tho he's bin out there for years and years.
So the guy has nothing to speak of,
except a traditional celebration of Christmas,
and this psychmaniac wont even let him have that?
Snowplow They woodnt even let im watch the Macys parade.